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Book Overview

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The most common and damaging misconception in marriages is the belief that to have a happy relationship we need to solve problems, those that arise whilst living together, or work out differences between partners. Not only is this practice unnecessary but it can actually be quite damaging and create more problems than those they solve. The correct approach is a lot simpler and far more effective.

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One of the first lessons you will learn from this book is that to make your relationship happier and more functional, you need to avoid working on marital problems and focus instead on following the wisdom of a set of laws, The Golden Rules of Marriage which, when respected, cause most problems to vanish.

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Your relationship is governed by specific laws; those that regulate your thoughts, your mood and your attitude towards each other, and which make the game of marriage either easy to play or very complicated. By adhering to these rules you will be fostering feelings of wanting to be together, as different to having to be together, thus transforming your marriage into the enjoyable and durable institution it should ideally be.

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You will learn that the differences that separate you are the very constituents for the success of your marriage, and that instead of eliminating these differences, you must profit from them – your marriage strives on compatibility, not similarities.

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A key factor in nurturing a successful relationship is grasping the true essence of love. Contrary to the often complex and dramatic portrayals, love is fundamentally straightforward and grounded. It can be distilled into two essential components, each linked to a simple question. The first question is, "Is it easy for my partner to love me?" This addresses the natural chemistry and attraction between you. The second question is, "Is it easy for my partner to live with me?" This focuses on your ability to create a harmonious and supportive living environment. By answering these questions with 'yes,' you pave the way for a long and happy marriage. Conversely, answering ‘no’ to either of these questions foretells inevitable and unsurmountable hardships.

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The Golden Rules of Marriage teach you that your marriage strives and develops on cooperation, and if you bring into it elements of competition with your partner, you are effectively introducing the very means for making it dysfunctional. You will learn the importance of working with, and never against your partner, and the gender-specific obligations that apply differently to males and females.

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In Chapter VI, the Golden Rules of Marriage are compiled into a training seminar that you and your partner can complete at home over a period of five weeks. It is a step-by-step methodology covering the foundations of the rules and how they apply to your relationship. A credit-point system will tell you if you are applying the Golden Rules effectively or not.

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You will also be asked to complete a questionnaire to assess the state of your relationship before and after your training to appraise the benefits obtained.

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The final chapter of the book describes a real-life counseling program led by a professional psychologist, offering an excellent example of how these principles are applied in a professional context.